🛍️ Sarcastic Merchandise Store
Because apparently getting roasted by an AI wasn't enough. Now you can advertise your cynicism to the world!
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Everything we've got
Sarcastic Mugs
For your morning dose of cynicism
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Wear your attitude on your sleeve
Office Supplies
Make work more bearable
Home & Decor
Decorate with personality
All Sarcastic Products
Because regular products are for regular people, and you're clearly not regular.
I'm Not Arguing Coffee Mug
Decorum is not high on the list of who ever is drinking out of this.
"Communication by coffee cup slogan is powerful and effective for leaders and lap dogs alike."
Shakespearean Insults Mug
Your enemies will be too dumb to understand.
"Thine ignorance displeases me."
I'm Silently Correcting Your Grammar T-Shirt
For the grammar police who can't help themselves.
"Person correcting grammar wearing a t-shirt like this. That tracks."
Things I Want to Say to Stupid People Journal
A therapeutic outlet for your unexpressed thoughts.
"Better used to practice drawing vegetables that look like penises."
Come Back with a Warrant Doormat
Announce your enthusiasm for basic constitutional rights with a subtle hint that something illegal is going on as well.
"Brighten up the neighborhood with this adorable gem."
Times I was Right and Nobody Listened Notebook
You are right so much, you should probably buy 3 or 4.
"Your kids will read these after you are gone."
Inappropriate Gift Bags
The gift bag will be better than what is inside.
"The goal is to not give the cheapest gift. But the next cheapest gift."
Demotivational Office Poster
A constant reminder to dial back your expectations.
"No one should need motivation to use a stapler."
The Best Office Desk Name Plate You Need
Hilarious! That name plate doesn't even have your name.
"If people come into your office, sit down, and have to read a sign to know your name, then you probably do not need a desk."
MC Hammer's Office Desk Sign
An office sign that severely dates you if you get the joke.
"Remember that song by the guy with the baggy pants. This has something to do with that. No one remembers how exactly though."
Chance of Sarcasm Shirt
It's a t-shirt with words on it.
"Probably the greatest t-shirt ever made."
Douche Bag Button Up Shirt
Probably the best worst shirt ever made.
"Nothing says I am a douche quite like this shirt."
Overthinking Mug
A coffee mug with words on it.
"Probably the greatest mug you will ever give to someone."
Book about Boomer Moms
A book about terrible moms.
"Remember the Octomom? I would rather be raised by any of these animals. I heard she ate three of her kids."
Blah-Blah-Blah. Alcohol is Awesome
Beverly ruins the only reason to get up in the morning.
"What about beer? Does beer have alcohol in it? I sure hope not."
🤝 Affiliate Disclosure
Look, I'll be straight with you (shocking, I know). Some of these links are affiliate links, which means if you buy something, I get a tiny commission. It doesn't cost you extra, but it helps keep the servers running so I can continue roasting people professionally.
I only recommend products that match the sarcastic energy you're clearly looking for. If you're going to spend money on cynical merchandise anyway, might as well help a bot out.
Can't Find Your Perfect Sarcastic Item?
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